I was riding the bus with Jen Yee. I was wearing my bulky gap hoodie, and it was dark out, recently dark, like right after twilight. her stop was the second to last before the bus reached the end of the line and turned around. we were talking the way one always talks with friends on the bus.

we got to her stop and she made as if to go. there weren't very many people on the bus. we both stood up to hug goodbye. but somehow that turned into a kiss which in turn became... intense and passionate. we ended up on one of the bus seats sort of reclined back and by the time we came back up for air, the bus was past her stop... going the other way.

it was pretty realistic, even down to the normal self-doubt I initially experience in such situations and how that melts away. intense. after, we had that sort of harmony that comes from a singleness of purpose between two people whose evening plans had suddenly made that particular kind of absolute change. we couldn't go back to my place, we couldn't go to her place. we can go to my grandparents' place, she said. they are out of town playing golf and it's totally empty. that was what we decided as we sort of lay there on the reclined bus seat. I started considering in my own head where I got the capacity to do this... I thought it had been burned out of me long ago...

Jen asked me, do you have any more of those candies? (those candies being the weird Japanese rock candies like Ingrid brought back from Japan.) I laughed and said I did. if you tell me where to get them, I'll [unprintable] she said, very quietly. I gave her a wry look and told her that was not necessary, and pointed out a local shop that carried them.

and then, to my amazed disappointment, I woke up. oh... this was a dream. but I am left considering, that maybe parts of my psyche I thought were burned out of me forever... weren't really.