I had a weird dream last night, or this morning rather,
in which I lost my left ear in an accident that was somehow
tied to the purchase of a purple denim jacket.

for some logic that was sensible in the dream but makes no sense
upon waking, the solution to this problem was to preserve my left ear,
remove my right ear (which only required four small cuts), and
re-attach it where my left ear had been. in my dream, I knew this
was possible because ms regina had done so in the face of a similar
dilemma.

meanwhile, the purple denim jack had lost one of the special buttons
it had that was purple & silver and matched. so I went to the store
where I had purchased it. they had a TV on with a football game
in the middle of the clothing floor. I spoke to the sales girl (your
typical mall-retail-girl who had long dark wavy hair with Claw Bangs)
and she said they only had a red denim jacket (with a red & silver buttons,
one of which I could steal if I wanted). she also knew a person who could
put my ears back. I did not want the button and left a little frustrated.

the scar on the right side of my head was so smooth nobody believed
I had actually had an ear there in the first place, until I pointed
out the pattern of bloodvessels under the skin there. there was big
vein that you could barely see, but was curved like where an ear would
be.

in order to put the ear back, the woman who was doing this told me
I had to have a flea to put in each ear, once she had sewn them back
into the right places. it turned out I had been keeping the correct
fleas in my mouth, in order to prevent their escape. however,
the one intended for my left ear (the preserved one) had grown too
large - the size of a pinky fingernail.

at this point Crosby charged in the room barking at the neighbours
and I woke up rather violently....